“The original definition of courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.”
― Brené Brown
Friday, September 16, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Day 2.
As far as the diet goes...I was able to get through it a little better than yesterday. My normal string cheese and sugar free Jello cup at work followed by a bottle of Fruit Punch Powerade Zero made my day smooth going. When I got home, I had another weight watchers meal. Later this evening I made myself another small smoothie.
The workout was fun again today and I could tell I was able to do more. I really have to say that I doubted my purchase a few times with this Malibu Pilates thing but after using it for two days in a row now and feeling a difference I really am happy with my purchase. I tried a few more difficult steps on it today and could definitely feel the resistance in my arms and shoulders.
I think waiting until the evening to write these diary entries may not be the best idea for me. I find my mind just running with thoughts in the morning when I wake up with things I want to write about and now, after winding down for the evening it's almost a sense of "writers block".
My boyfriend still thinks I'm crazy for doing this. I just want a better body and more confident self and I think I can achieve that by doing this. :)
Lately I've been getting extremely overwhelmed at my job. Overworked and under-paid. Since I'm not a morning person, my 5am starting time is really wearing me out. Not to mention the fact that I have a 3 year old daughter to wake up in the morning and get dropped off at Grandma's for the day.
I realized something this morning. My daughter is going to a head start preschool program which her Grandma attends with her one day a week for a few hours. She loves it. Tomorrow is her first day back to school and she's excited. I wish I could be there with her! I've decided when she is actually in school I'm going to find a different job so that my hours will able me to be able to see her off to school everyday :) Then again, on the flip side, my hours now make it so I can be home with her after school. Which one is most important? BOTH! Ugh. We'll see, that's a couple years away and a lot can change by then, especially in my life.
The workout was fun again today and I could tell I was able to do more. I really have to say that I doubted my purchase a few times with this Malibu Pilates thing but after using it for two days in a row now and feeling a difference I really am happy with my purchase. I tried a few more difficult steps on it today and could definitely feel the resistance in my arms and shoulders.
I think waiting until the evening to write these diary entries may not be the best idea for me. I find my mind just running with thoughts in the morning when I wake up with things I want to write about and now, after winding down for the evening it's almost a sense of "writers block".
My boyfriend still thinks I'm crazy for doing this. I just want a better body and more confident self and I think I can achieve that by doing this. :)
Lately I've been getting extremely overwhelmed at my job. Overworked and under-paid. Since I'm not a morning person, my 5am starting time is really wearing me out. Not to mention the fact that I have a 3 year old daughter to wake up in the morning and get dropped off at Grandma's for the day.
I realized something this morning. My daughter is going to a head start preschool program which her Grandma attends with her one day a week for a few hours. She loves it. Tomorrow is her first day back to school and she's excited. I wish I could be there with her! I've decided when she is actually in school I'm going to find a different job so that my hours will able me to be able to see her off to school everyday :) Then again, on the flip side, my hours now make it so I can be home with her after school. Which one is most important? BOTH! Ugh. We'll see, that's a couple years away and a lot can change by then, especially in my life.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Day 1.
My mind runs through a million things I want to say so it's hard to narrow this down. Basically, over the next year of my life I've dedicated myself and body to tracking my journey as I recover from depression and anxiety and continue to fight the weight battle I've dealt with for as long as I can remember.
Over the past 3 years I've lost 120 lbs. No secret to it really. I've gone through so much in my life and food was my comfort. After meeting my boyfriend, Aden, and actually finding happiness for a while, I learned to eat better and for once in my life, had an active lifestyle.
Since I've recently been binge eating and falling back into some of my old habits, I've gained a few lbs. I think that's been the push for me to do this, though, today, it was very hard.
I recently purchased the Malibu Pilates system from HSN.com. Susan Lucci sold it to me! Haha, yes, I'm a goofball. I was contemplating on getting a gym membership, but knowing myself, I would go once and then gradually just not go and be stuck with a monthly payment. So I thought, why not buy something I can do at home. After already buying the Zumba DVD program I knew if I could get myself commited to this that I will have great success. So here we go.
I ate pretty normal for my day at work. I'm at the office from 5am-2pm so a normal meal schedule hasn't really ever fit for me. I usually have a few pieces of string cheese throughout the day and throw in a Sugar Free Jello cup and I'm good. By the time I make it home though, I'm starving. At least, today I was. I made myself a pasta and cheese meal of Smart Ones, I love those things! The diet I've followed has mainly been low carb so this meal kind of took it a little overboard at 44 carbs but it's a whole meal and I feel full afterwards (sometimes) so I didn't feel too guilty. The guilt came later. I took a nap with my 3 year old daughter and woke up to see that leftover bag of tortilla chips from my "last supper" at Chilli's the night before. No good. I thought to myself I could just have one...the salt was amazing and they were still perfect, not stale at all. I kept eating a few more at a time. I knew I had to stop myself before finishing off the bag so I decided to make myself a banana smoothie. I bought the Chobani Fat Free Greek Yogurt and some Edy's No Sugar Added vanilla ice cream. Added some banana and milk and it was so great.
The workout was next. I decided instead of starting on the DVD for the Malibu Pilates that I'd use the sheet which shows different key workout steps. To my surprise, I loved it! I did the first 5 and went through the suggested reps 3 times. I felt very good about myself :) Though, just finishing a filling banana smoothie didn't go too well, so note to self: don't do that again.
I took a few pictures in our crappy mirror but I'm going to track my progress and eventually add photos to this.
The hardest part about this is staying committed. After following through with just this first day, I'm confident that I can do this and continue.
I'm a year away from my 30th birthday. I'd like, at that time, to find confidence and strength within myself.
Over the past 3 years I've lost 120 lbs. No secret to it really. I've gone through so much in my life and food was my comfort. After meeting my boyfriend, Aden, and actually finding happiness for a while, I learned to eat better and for once in my life, had an active lifestyle.
Since I've recently been binge eating and falling back into some of my old habits, I've gained a few lbs. I think that's been the push for me to do this, though, today, it was very hard.
I recently purchased the Malibu Pilates system from HSN.com. Susan Lucci sold it to me! Haha, yes, I'm a goofball. I was contemplating on getting a gym membership, but knowing myself, I would go once and then gradually just not go and be stuck with a monthly payment. So I thought, why not buy something I can do at home. After already buying the Zumba DVD program I knew if I could get myself commited to this that I will have great success. So here we go.
I ate pretty normal for my day at work. I'm at the office from 5am-2pm so a normal meal schedule hasn't really ever fit for me. I usually have a few pieces of string cheese throughout the day and throw in a Sugar Free Jello cup and I'm good. By the time I make it home though, I'm starving. At least, today I was. I made myself a pasta and cheese meal of Smart Ones, I love those things! The diet I've followed has mainly been low carb so this meal kind of took it a little overboard at 44 carbs but it's a whole meal and I feel full afterwards (sometimes) so I didn't feel too guilty. The guilt came later. I took a nap with my 3 year old daughter and woke up to see that leftover bag of tortilla chips from my "last supper" at Chilli's the night before. No good. I thought to myself I could just have one...the salt was amazing and they were still perfect, not stale at all. I kept eating a few more at a time. I knew I had to stop myself before finishing off the bag so I decided to make myself a banana smoothie. I bought the Chobani Fat Free Greek Yogurt and some Edy's No Sugar Added vanilla ice cream. Added some banana and milk and it was so great.
The workout was next. I decided instead of starting on the DVD for the Malibu Pilates that I'd use the sheet which shows different key workout steps. To my surprise, I loved it! I did the first 5 and went through the suggested reps 3 times. I felt very good about myself :) Though, just finishing a filling banana smoothie didn't go too well, so note to self: don't do that again.
I took a few pictures in our crappy mirror but I'm going to track my progress and eventually add photos to this.
The hardest part about this is staying committed. After following through with just this first day, I'm confident that I can do this and continue.
I'm a year away from my 30th birthday. I'd like, at that time, to find confidence and strength within myself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)